Cosleeping: Is It Safe?

Cosleeping is the term used to describe a nursing mother and baby who sleep together in the mother’s bed, with the baby nursing on and off whenever the need arises. It’s nice because the mother doesn’t have to rouse herself out of a full sleep for every little whimper. Both are calmer and more relaxed because the baby regulates its breathing and sleeping to match the mother’s. Sleep quality is improved for both and the mother’s milk supply benefits from the all night on and off nursing.

Sounds good, right? But is there a downside to cosleeping?  Do moms ever roll over in their sleep and without meaning to, unwittingly suffocate their infants, Heaven forfend, and kill them?

Cosleeping As SIDS Cause?

It’s been known to happen. In one study performed in Wales, for instance, researchers discovered that 60% of 45 infants who died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) had coslept with their mothers. On the other hand, the lowest rates for SIDS are found in countries where cosleeping is the norm, such as in Asia and South Asia.

As a mother of 12 who breastfed all her children, I can tell you that my husband and I were too frightened to try cosleeping. If I accidentally fell asleep during a middle of the night nursing session, my husband would wake me and take the baby back to his crib. It always felt wrong. And in fact, sleeping with my babies always felt right.

Now nursing was never easy for me. I had all sorts of problems with nursing with all but my last two children. I used to joke that it took ten children for me to get “good at nursing.” The difference with the last two?

1) I stopped using a pacifier, since it had fallen out of vogue and was now deemed The Devil, Bobby Boucher. A nursing consultant told me that babies had been brought to the emergency room, dead on arrival with pacifiers stuck in their airways. I had always used pacifiers to give my babies the extra sucking they seemed to need that I couldn’t provide and still have a life. Without that pacifier, my babies cried. Nonstop. Cosleeping, on the other hand, gave my infants the opportunity to get in the sucking time they needed to be happy.

2) I was older and lazier. I just wasn’t willing to get up and down with babies all night long. I was no longer a youngster and I had a large family to care for. I needed my sleep. Taking the baby in bed with me meant that I got more sleep and that the sleep I got was quality sleep.

Cosleeping, once I gave in to the notion, was awesome for both of us. We were both happier and more rested. My husband still worried. He’d wake me up and ask me if the baby were still breathing.

The baby always was. Breathing that is.

Perhaps it would have been different if I were the kind of person who can sleep through anything. But I’ve never been a deep sleeper. There is no way I was ever going to roll over on my sleeping infant and not know it.

So maybe that’s the real issue with cosleeping: how deeply do you sleep? If the phone rings and you don’t hear it, or someone comes in and turns on the light and it doesn’t rouse you, then you should probably think twice before deciding to cosleep with your infant. Seems like it wouldn’t be such a hot idea for you.

Now just like the pacifier suddenly became a no-no for my last couple of children, so too, the doctor insisted I could no longer put my children to sleep on their stomachs. It has been proven to cause SIDS, he told me.

I said, “But my kids won’t be able to sleep on their backs. They’ll just cry all night and never sleep!”

He said, “That’s the whole point! You don’t want them to sleep so deeply they vomit in their sleep and choke on it. You don’t want them to sleep deeply, period.”

And really, that was third issue that clinched it for me. Cosleeping meant the two of us sleeping on our sides, also deemed a safe sleeping position–any position except on the belly. My babies would never have slept on their sides or back alone in a crib. But next to me, they suckled on and off and slept the sweet sleep of babies, both of us peaceful, calm, and safe.

Have you considered cosleeping? Are you a light or heavy sleeper?  Do you worry about rolling over on your baby?