Two Men Go Through Simulated Labor, Wives High Five

Would simulated labor help men understand what women go through? Maybe, maybe not. But it might help men be a little more sympathetic about what is often a painful experience for women.

The pain of childbirth carries with it certain implications. There’s the biblical idea that women experience the pangs of childbirth due to Eve’s sin in tempting Adam to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. There’s the idea that women are somehow superior or tougher than men and that in their place, men just wouldn’t make it through labor–even simulated labor–and delivery. Finally, there’s the idea that men should feel guilty forever more for selfishly making their women go through childbirth.

As for that business with Eve, talk about collective punishment! Women going through all that pain for thousands of years for something that was done before they were even born? More likely, God knew that women would make their men feel guilty about their womenfolk suffering so much so He gave them something handy to say, “Well, hey! It was a WOMAN who gave Adam that apple in the first place. It’s not MY fault your great great great great great whatever grandmother made Adam sin. “

A kindness that, having an excuse at the ready. Yeah. Throw that guilt right back at ya, Babe. Thanks, God.

Simulated Labor Test: Who’s Weaker?

So that takes care of the unfairness of collective punishment for the women and it takes care of the guilt that men feel for getting off scot-free. That leaves the argument about the superiority and toughness of women relative to men. Who is the weaker of the sexes?

Happily for us, two men volunteered to go through a simulated birth experience to answer the question for us once and for all. Well, kinda sorta. They only go through a single hour of simulated labor. Not to mention that they don’t have to actually push a baby out, or an afterbirth, or have stitches, or deal with the postpartum aftermath while caring for a newborn who wants to be fed every couple of hours or so 24/7.

But their wives seemed please to watch them suffer. Isn’t that the main thing? Oh, and yeah. They survived. So maybe men are as tough as women after all. What do you think?

I think I totally would have aced the simulated labor experience. Piece of cake. Now excuse me while I duck, because if you’re anything like my wife Carey, you want to throw a shoe at me right around now. 

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