Corona Meltdown? When You Feel Like Screaming At Your Kids, Do This Instead

Coronavirus means lots of families staying at home. But for parents of children, the corona lockdown comes with special challenges. Children have a high energy level and will test their parents however they can. This can lead to parents trying hard not to lose their tempers, even as they remain stuck indoors with the kids. For many of us, the solution is to interrupt the cycle however we can, even if it’s just about taking long, deep, calming breaths or putting on some music and belting out a song.

To most of us, the global corona pandemic and lockdown came as a shock. You might have gone into this thing with the best of intentions. You’d work to provide your child with an educational experience. You would write up—and stick to—a daily schedule. But reality has a way of biting us in the behind.

By now we know the truth: it’s difficult to maintain even the most earnest of resolutions, day in and day out. It’s hard to never get a break from our children. We may feel like we’re trapped. We’re worried about getting sick, about our loved ones getting sick, and we’re stuck with small beings who often say and do things that make no sense to us adults. We’re stuck with them 24/7.

Kids Act Like Kids, Corona or No

Our kids meanwhile may balk at getting dressed or doing their virtual homework. They won’t eat the foods you’ve prepared, and have tantrums for no reason at all that you can see. In short, our kids are acting like kids, and we are the adults who never get a break from their behavior. Because it’s not like we can walk away.

Is it any wonder that we’re brought to the brink of losing it—and possibly beyond? The corona lockdown is like an unrelenting assault of being caught in their world, with no release. We may feel that way even though we dearly love our children—in some ways almost more than life itself. Which is the main reason we’re stuck inside with them in the first place.

It’s no joke. Corona times are scary times. There’s a plague, a global pandemic, so we can’t get away. But being inside with our kids takes a toll on our mental health. The main thing, of course, is to not allow our tempers to get out of control. That’s because we parents have a responsibility to be rock solid for our children, so losing it is not an option.

10 Low-Tech Solutions

The trick to keeping things together for your sake and that of your children, is to find a way to interrupt a cycle that can lead to an angry outburst (yours or theirs!). For this reason, we put together the following list of simple things you can do instead of screaming. You may not be able to get away—to get a physical break from the kids—but these 10 low-tech solutions should give you a break from those gut-wrenching feelings of being trapped and out of control:

1. Brush your teeth–We aren’t ascribing magical powers to dental hygiene or saying that mint will keep you from yelling at your kids. But it’s amazing how a simple act like brushing your teeth with some minty toothpaste can refresh not just your mouth but your mood (even if your teeth are already clean). Try it and see!
2. Wash your face—Ever notice how when you’re angry, your face feels hot? Washing your face can help cool you down, fast. It’ll just make you feel better. This simple form of self-care is an instant mood improver.
3. Apply some makeup—We may not be going anywhere, but we can still look good, just for ourselves. Putting on makeup reminds us that a world out there and that we still have a place in that world. When we look our best, we feel better about ourselves and the situation. And that trickles down to our children. So slather on some lipstick and blow yourself a kiss in the mirror.
4. Lower your voice to a whisper—When your child is screaming, try lowering your voice to a whisper. For one thing, your child has to lower his voice in order to hear you. And lowering the volume works to deescalate any tantrum, fast. Speaking in a softer voice also means taking back control of the situation, as you take control of the volume. Your child will be reassured to see how you’re keeping it together, and may just follow your good example. Way to turn a tantrum into a teachable moment!
5. Take deep breaths—It’s something we can do at any time or place and it always seems to do the trick. You may not be in control of your children or the situation, but you can slow and be mindful of the way you breathe. So stop and take several cleansing breaths. No need to puzzle over why this works. It just does.
6. Talk to your Higher Power—Some call it “prayer,” others call it “meditation.” Does it matter? Your kid is driving you nuts, so send up some words. Figuring out what to say means figuring out what you need at that moment. Expressing that need in words can offer a sense of validation, which in turn, can soothe all sorts of negative emotions: fear, anxiety, worry, and even anger. Call it whatever you like, and if it helps you, use it.
7. Put on some music and dance it out—Instead of yelling back, play some happy music and just dance. The exercise will do you some good by flooding your body with some feel-good endorphins. Your unexpected reaction to your child’s tantrum may just stop the outburst in its tracks. Don’t be surprised if your child stops howling to join in the fun.
8. Sing louder than your child is screaming—Singing is an unexpected reaction to a child’s anger, and the surprise of your behavior may just stop a meltdown in its tracks. Sing whatever you like, even if you tend to sing off-key. Your child may just decide that singing is more fun than screaming and turn your solo into a duet.
9. Scrub something, anything—Tackle a cleaning job. Put some elbow-grease into it. Most of us don’t look forward to cleaning, but love the results! It always feels like an amazing accomplishment to make things sparkle and shine. Cleaning is a good way to work off the frustration that builds up from being under lockdown with your family. It’s a positive way to burn off that negative energy.
10. Try visualization and guided imagery techniques—Close your eyes and imagine you are sitting on a sandy beach under the heat of the sun, watching the waves roll in and out of the ocean. Using all your senses, hear the sounds of the seagulls and smell and taste the salt in the air. It doesn’t have to be the beach. Find your happy place and use your powers of imagination to transport yourself there. You are taking a break from it all, even if it’s just in your own mind. Don’t be shocked to find that you feel calmer, more composed, after imagining a trip to a different place. The mind is a powerful thing.

These are just a few of the things a parent can do to get away from it all, if only in your head, for just a minute or two. The main thing is to interrupt the cycle: the predictable chain of events that leads to full-out fits of temper in children and sometimes adults, when things feel like too much to bear. Doing anything that gets in the way of that, can change the direction and focus of the feelings and our behavior.  Once we are there, we are back to feeling centered and in control. We feel we can make it through this thing: that we can cope.

And feeling as if we can cope means we’re already halfway there. Even with a global pandemic of corona—and our children—howling at the door.

Found what you just read useful? Why not consider sending a donation to our Kars4Kids youth and educational programs. Or help us just by sharing!

Found what you just read useful? Why not consider sending a donation to our Kars4Kids youth and educational programs. Or help us just by sharing!

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